he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
