he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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