Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
