ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
