umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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