just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I should be sponsored by Trojan
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Is it penis luge time yet?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize
