It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
