Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
