She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
