Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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