when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
