I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Bring me that man meat
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
i think i just lost a toe
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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