He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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