I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
there was a trapeze. enough said
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
