If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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