Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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