YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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