There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
