Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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