I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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