How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Text me some of your sweat
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
