please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
