Having a random hookup so left but love u
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
