Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
