Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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