And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
