two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
