i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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