His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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