Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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