Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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