Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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