Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
