Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
