This girl is more easily done than said...
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i out mim tonsoeep
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
