I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
