Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
