I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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