Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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