'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
