you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
