i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
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