Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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