If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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