if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
