Barsexuality is the new black.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
