I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
