I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Randomize