so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
