I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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