I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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