i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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