jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
