He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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