It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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