Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
