I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
