This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
