just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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