yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Randomize
