sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
