No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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